Love?

As I am writing my insides away in a three page essay on love, I am completely stuck. I have already spent two days pouring all of my energy into writing pointless and grey MCAS essays. Of course, this is not the everyday type of love. For approximately a week's length of time around two weeks ago, my Latin Prose class has been watching the German movie The Lives of Others. Love is all over it.

The previous paragraph was obviously written around three months ago, perhaps even more. I gave up on it because I felt it was pointless to write out my feelings and such. And now, a fistful of months later, I am back at square one fumbling over my feelings. It's really funny though, how easy it is to "fall in like" with someone and be so preoccupied with your feelings that nothing else seems to matter to you. Nothing but that one person. You spend your days humming in your thoughts wondering if that one person likes you back. You spend your time replaying their little actions over and over in your mind, wondering if they meant something at all. You start to over analyze things. If I analyzed a novel this well for English class, I would definitely get an A+ with extra credit. However, that's not it at all.

It's just not the same. It's strange. I thought it was unlikely.
I find myself just putting on a smile rather than fixing up my shirt or combing through my hair with my fingers to get all the kinks out whenever he's around. I feel fine with just a smile on. I don't have to fiddle with my fingers or pull at the one loose string at the end of my shirt. It's like being around a best friend, but you just feel that feeling inside of you.

It was amazing to watch you change throughout the years. It's true, you used to tease me and be mean to me back then when we were younger. And seeing you walk with God, is amazing. But I don't want to stop you from continuing on in your walk.

And I'm just wondering if the feeling might fade.