Sophomore year.

Lately I've been wicked busy, Sophomore year had kept up a facade of the goodness of an easy year, but unfortunately it isn't. It isn't easy at all, not the least bit. I think my greatest challenges this year are Geometry and Latin Prose, academically. They aren't my very best subjects. Chemistry on the other hand I very much thoroughly enjoy. It is quite a challenge, yet extremely fascinating. however, there are classes that seem utterly easy, such as English Language Arts, however Mrs. "Tolbert" Johnson isn't very...normal, per say? She's constantly sick and has an increasingly monotone voice. You'd think that monotone couldn't get any duller but hers is just abnormally dull. She says she's forty but she looks more than days over 80. In addition to her frequent absences, our class is getting no work done. How am I going to pass this course? I nearly failed last time until she fixed everyone's grade. Honestly, she doesn't give me enough credit at all. This is getting quite disheartening, let's move on to another topic.

Something else I am very moved about is, that a counselor had come up to me and asked, "Have you been doing devotions?" Quite frankly, in the past one or two months, unfortunately, I haven't been. I'm glad that someone actually came up to me personally and reminded me, although s/he sometimes comes of as "intentionally mean" that's just him/her and I wouldn't have it any other way. S/he's very straight-forward and down to earth, and I'm glad because if no one had reminded me, I certainly would have just left devos out of my life. A very interesting part of the devos talked about sunflowers. Now, sunflowers are a very nice type of flower, they're extraordinarily gratifying to the eye. Honestly I don't think I could live without them because they're my favorite summer flower. Every flower has an amazing story to it, but I think these are called "sunflowers" for a specific reason. They all track with the sun - this means that wherever the sun goes, their blissful yellow faces follow it. "It's almost as if they're giving the sun it's constant attention and awe." Although, maybe that sentence may not seem the least bit intriguing to you, I find extreme depth in that one sentence. The first thing that came to my mind when I myself read that sentence was, "We should all be admiring God with such awe and amazement that our gaze follows wherever He goes, whatever he does." However, we are human, our eyes wander and I feel my own wander off plenty. Recently, I've been trying so hard to reach back out to God. School is such a huge blockade for me, but I still feel God just reaching out and pushing every wall between us away. Sometimes I don't notice that when God is trying to ring my door bell, I just add another lock to my door, I feel so selfish when I do so. We're ignorant and we forget, and I really don't want that to happen. it's not so easy to just give out hardened hearts back to God and let him soften it again. Like clay, when hardened, it will hurt when the potter is chipping away to reshape you again. But the pain is worth it, because such a beautiful piece of clay should not just be wasted away...

Another topic...I really need some warm fuzzy boots. My feet are constantly cold, and Winter Teen Conference is coming up. Without a doubt, I am always the coldest one there, on my first year I even fell ill. I had a fever when I came back, poor me, I was one of the first to catch the TC bug. Anyways I am VERY super excited for WTC, I just really wonder...if it will just be another spiritual high. I hope not because although those feel amazing at the time, they fade away like drugs and you crave some more excitement, but it's not there so you reach out for a replacement. Replacements are never fulfilling. I just hope that this tc, I'll feel God working in me and witness His amazing works in others.